Tuesday 25 November 2008

Confessions of a Classroom Observer

My college attempted to improve class participation and encourage discussions this trimester because of which they implemented a U-shaped seating arrangement despite the lack of infrastructure for the same. This ensured that a person like me who enjoys observing the behaviour and antics of people, and one who is easily distracted can never get even a shred of work done in class. If I look up, I can see more than half the students of my class and what they are doing.
Sitting in a dull, dreary class where time comes to a crawl and a minute seems to comprise of 100 seconds rather than the usual 60, observing people ends up being the only activity that keeps me from drifting off into the land of dreams. This particular class, which I will prefer not to disclose in order to retain plausible deniability, has a unique sort of teacher. He is blessed with the unique ability to speak in a dull monotone for extended periods of time, which coupled with an expressionless face and a voice that could put a hyperactive, caffeinated hamster to sleep creates an environment conducive to sleep. He actually compels me to debate whether or not he is more interesting than watching grass grow.
The struggle to remain awake turns out to be a hard fought battle, in which I find myself on the losing side more often than not. At this point of time, observing people turns out to be the only method to delay the inevitable. My class comprises of 65 students and we normally have a decent turnout, probably due to a minimum attendance requirement of 80% attendance. I shall now proceed to classify people into different groups according to their behaviour, like I always do.
1. The Sleepers – The students who lost the battle against sleep and let the ever increasing weight of their eyelids overwhelm them. Sleep is the only reprise for them as the burden of boredom becomes too much for them to bear. They can be classified into ‘Subtle Sleepers’ who try to pretend to be awake or ‘Shameless Sleepers’ who just don’t care how they sleep. Sleep has completely dominated them.
2. The Strugglers – The students who are determined not to allow the evil power of dreams seduce them into relinquishing their guard. They know they want to sleep, but are desperate not too. They can be seen with drooping heads or catching a few winks intermittently. Their life seems to be moving in slow motion as all their actions seem a little delayed and lethargic.
3. The Communicators – The ones who believe that social interaction and communication with their peers is their one and only saviour. United, they may be able to face the onslaught and remain awake and alert. They communicate with their neighbours, or in extreme cases, across the classroom. Communication may be oral, written or through signs and gestures.
4. The Technocrats – The ones who believe that technology will rescue them from the doldrums. Cell Phones, Laptops, even MP3 players are their best friends in these situations. These devices may be used to communicate and send distress signals or to distract them from the dull reality that is prevalent.
5. The Attention Seekers/The Distracters – The individuals who need to be in the limelight in order to ensure that they still exist in the real world. They feel that the prevailing boredom may have dulled their existence and they need confirmation that they are still alive. They need to know that they haven’t slipped into some sort of grey parallel universe.
6. The Sages – The students who have the inhuman and unnatural ability to teleport their minds into different dimensions while ensuring that their physical bodies remain in the same spot. Some mortals refer to these individuals as sleeping with their eyes open, but the reality is a lot different. Fact is often stranger than Fiction. These individuals may be in a different city, different profession, could be doing anything in their heads while they just appear to remain sitting there.
7. The Contemplators – The individuals who are compelled to think and reflect about their life and existence during the periods of prolonged boredom. The immense amount of dullness that prevails forces them to wonder whether they landed up in the right place. They may think of the past, present or the future and make decisions ranging from what they wish to eat during the next break to what they want to do in life.
8. The Pretenders – The individuals who know absolutely nothing but want others to believe that they are seriously following whatever is happening. They could be sitting in a UN peace conference or watching a Formula 1 Race and remain absolutely oblivious to the proceedings but would still feel the innermost need to put forward their opinions and their 2 cents.
9. The Students – The ones who came to study. Who do not feel the boredom, just the insatiable thirst for knowledge and the desire to learn. Sleep is furthest from their mind and they are desperate to learn and absorb every single drop of wisdom that passes through the lips of the instructor. They are the ideal students for the instructor and are normally in short supply.
10. The Opportunists – The ones who take the dull periods to be opportunistic moments to get other pending tasks done. They don’t see a prolonged pause in the timeline, rather a window of opportunity to compensate for their earlier oversights and results of lethargy. They always have something to do in class and are always short of time.
11. The Ostriches - The believers that if they can't see the teacher, the teacher in turn would not be able to see them either. They avoid eye contact as far as humanly possible and keep shifting in their seats in order to keep themselves out of the line of sight of the teachers. They refuse to learn in class and are always in some activity or the other, but try to save their skins at all times.
12. The Observers – The ones who believe that amusing themselves by noting the antics of others is the best available alternative to counter the demons of sleep and boredom. They enjoy at the expense of others and often involve others in the process of observation. They are the ones who are most easily distracted and the ones who are least bothered with the proceedings. They always look for excuses to do things other than studying.
No student sticks to a single role and they normally switch roles between classes and subjects. The time of the day, subjects, company and level of interest apart from several other factors may decide the role which could change several times during a single lecture.
In case anyone was wondering what their dominant role is, please feel free to ask me.