The Gaseous State

There are three states of matter known to exit. Solids, Liquids and Gases. The Gaseous State is a state which has neither a fixed shape nor a fixed volume. It occupies the shape and volume of the container in which it is stored. Gases are perfectly fluid and can also expand as much as required. Now, this is not an elementary Chemistry tutorial, but it is essential to understand the gaseous state in order to put it in perspective of this entire post.

GAS, in context of an MBA programme does not deviate too much from its Chemistry definition. In laymen terms, Gas refers to an answer which does not contain any substance, it comprises of incoherent blabbering which can occupy as much space on the answer sheet as the creator desires. It can flow endlessly and there is no limit to its expansion. Gas does not have a necessary direction in which the answer could be headed, nor would it add any value to the person who reads it. In essence, MBA = GAS. It does not really add any value, it does not have substance. It doesn’t really occupy any space in your brain but it can fill up any voids that exist and bloat your ego. It can be expressed in both spoken as well as written forms.

Just as different gases have different properties, there are different types of Gases used in MBA as well, some of which have been mentioned below.

1. Flammable Gases – Flammable gases are the ones that are most likely to trigger a violent explosion. They are highly reactive and unsafe. Such a gas is the kind that can probably result in a fairly aggressive response from the teacher or other students when used. This is a gas that should be used with caution as it can come back to bite the user. This is normally the kind of gas which contains controversial content.

2. Toxic Gases – A very deadly form of Gas which is known to cause several fatalities when used. Toxic gas can prove to be lethal to the user, target or people around caught in the fallout. Toxic Gases are normally highly concentrated gases that while holding no real substance contain high level technical terms which at least cause neural damage to the recipient rendering the victim unable to respond and react. Nerve gas is a minor variant of the Toxic Gases.

3. Noble Gases – Noble Gases are normally the light, inert, odourless, highly unreactive gases found in the last column of the periodic table. In MBA parlance, Noble gases constitute those responses which bear absolutely no relevance to the question and are absolutely absurd. They are just used to fill space and will not ‘react’ to the question, making them a very generalised gas which can be used as a universal response.

4. Laughing Gas – Nitrous Oxide or N2O is what is normally known as laughing gas, which is known to induce a euphoric state. In the context of MBA education, Laughing Gas has similar properties, and refer to the type of gas which when used induces laughter amongst all that come in contact with it. This is normally used to distract the teacher and change the subject or divert attention.

5. Tear Gas – Tear Gases in common usage are Lachrymatory agents used to induce tears by stimulating the corneal muscles. MBA reference is slightly different as Tear Gas refers to the type of gas which is so absurd and ridiculous that it causes those in contact to wish to cry due to the misfortune of having to tolerate it. This is often found in Strategy Classes and is an extremely irritable gas which has the potential of turning flammable or toxic.

6. Nauseating Gas – A highly discomforting gas with a very pungent, rotten odour which can cause the stomach to churn and result in nausea and other uncomfortable situations to those that come in contact with it. Nauseating Gas refers to a low level dosage of Toxic Gas which although not lethal causes the recipient to become sick. It comes into the picture when the user tries too hard to give an answer and makes a mess of it.

7. Compressed Gas – Akin to the compressed cylinders available, this is a very dense form of gas which comprises of a lot of content, condensed into a limited space. The closest a gas can come to having any sort of substance, Compressed Gases are a very high quality gas which is normally a mixture of some matter along with lots of fillers, used sparingly in order to make it appear to have much more content then what it actually contains.

8. Smoke – A highly polluted gas containing several impurities and of a fairly dense nature, contact with which can cause irritation and bouts of coughing. Smoke is normally the kind of Gas used in MBA to cause a diversion in desperate situation, used to create large scale confusion, it contains lots of impurities which impedes vision and clear thought enabling the user to escape. Smoke is the kind of gas where a user empties his entire arsenal in a very short time and mentions everything that he can think of related to a topic.

9. Anaesthetic – The Gas used to induce a temporary state of unconsciousness and inactivity. A very potent gas normally used by Teachers which can cause several pocket of students to lose consciousness and drift away in restless slumber. This gas is very commonly used and prolonged exposure has resulted in many individuals losing consciousness in classroom situations, with or without the use of such a gas.

10. Sublimation – In the language of Chemistry, Sublimation is a process in which a solid transforms directly into a gas without undergoing intermediate liquidation. Agreed, this is not a type of gas, but it bears very high significance in MBA education. This is the phenomenon wherein a student begins an answer with relevant facts, figures and theory but during the course, loses relevance and then uses gas in order to finish off the rest of the answer in accordance with the length that he had originally intended the answer to have. A common phenomenon, it is one of the most important tools during examinations and classroom discussions.

This is not an exhaustive list of Gases used, but should serve as an indicator in order for people to understand the mindset and working of students and teachers in an MBA Institution. Gases are the key to complete a course and are used in varying degrees in different subjects. There is no subject known which is absolutely isolated from the use of Gases.

Gas /gæs/ noun, plural gas·es, verb, gassed, gas·sing.

–noun

1. Physics . a substance possessing perfect molecular mobility and the property of indefinite expansion, as opposed to a solid or liquid.

2. any such fluid or mixture of fluids.

3. any such fluid used as an anesthetic, as nitrous oxide: Did the dentist give you gas for your extraction?

4. any such combustible fluid used as fuel: Light the gas in the oven.

5. Automotive .

a. Gasoline.

b. Also called gas pedal. the foot-operated accelerator of an automotive vehicle: Take your foot off the gas.

6. Flatus.

7. Coal Mining . an explosive mixture of firedamp with air.

8. an aeriform fluid or a mistlike assemblage of fine particles suspended in air, used in warfare to asphyxiate, poison, or stupefy an enemy.

9. Slang .

a. empty talk.

b. a person or thing that is very entertaining, pleasing, or successful: The party was an absolute gas, and we loved it.

c. a person or thing that affects one strongly.