Before I begin, I would like to clarify that this post has absolutely nothing even remotely related to relationships, so it should not be confused with that topic. Instead, this tries to deal with something even more important, the three wheeled menace – motorised and non-motorised that is found in abundance on the road.
I may be wrong, but I strongly believe that any vehicle that is fit to run on the road, and which should be legally allowed to be produced and driven, should have an even number of wheels. If you think about it, Motorcycles, Cars, Trucks, Trains, even Aircrafts normally have an even number of wheels. Any vehicle that has an odd number of wheels is unnatural and hazardous. Now, some people may argue that there have been 3 wheeled cars that have been produced, and some have been moderately successful, but they are just plain stupid. There is a theory that whatever humans produce, it evolves over time and the final stage of evolution invariably brings it closer to nature. As an example, the best material known to handle heat is Ceramic, which is what humans started using ages ago. So, if we apply a similar analogy to cars, almost all living beings that walk on the ground have an even number of limbs, whether it is 2 for humans and birds, 4 for most animals, 8 for spiders and octopi and so on. Even centipedes have an even number of limbs, and any living being that has an odd number of limbs either due to an accident or some deformity is called, by a rather insensitive term, lame.
So, based on my above theory, I have always found the three wheeled vehicles that are found on the road to be rather lame. Other than the fact that they look weird, they create a fairly hazardous environment for others on the road. Invariably, it turns out that the people who normally drive these vehicles are overly aggressive, angry, unconcerned about others on the road or traffic rules, and perpetually in a hurry. Whether they were always that way or turn into such a personality after repeated, prolonged exposure to these vehicles is a topic of contention. The two most popular three wheeled monstrosities that I will cover in this post are cycle rickshaws (henceforth referred to as rickshaws) and auto rickshaws (referred to as autos from now on) as they are the ones that I have had to contend with most often. I will try to post my experiences from two viewpoints, one as a passenger, and two as someone who has to tolerate these vehicles while using the road.
Taking Cycle Rickshaws first, these are ingeniously designed vehicles, built with the sole purpose of being bulky and with prime importance to nuisance value. The flared wheel arches on a pre-dented aluminium body coupled with the iron awning at the back ensures that proximity to these contraptions will invariably result in deep, ugly scratches on the body of your car. Comfort is an alien concept, so shock absorbers of any kind are non-existent, which ensures that if you are seated on this thing, you will definitely feel every single bump, pothole or pebble that comes across your way. Also, being an open air vehicle, you can always enjoy every single aspect of the weather that surrounds you, whether you like it or not. One of the most irritating things that you can come across while driving is when one rickshaw decides to try and overtake another. It is like a drag race taking place in super slow motion. The size of the two contenders ensures that the entire road is occupied till a winner is decided, and in case one is unfortunate enough to be stuck behind the race, it is often a reasonably long wait.
However, to be honest, I still feel that the rickshaw is a comparatively smaller menace then its mechanised brethren. I often wonder what went through the brain of the designer who conceived the idea of the auto rickshaw, because he unknowingly created the single most annoying machine for the Indian roads. Something that would account for over 63% of scratches and dents on automobiles, and prove to be the nemesis for motorists all across the country. Autos in big cities like Bombay, Delhi and Bangalore have the concept of even a single passenger meaning that it is full, which is not so in the case of the many small towns where it is the predominant mode of public transportation. The city where I grew up in proved to me that the capacity of an auto, along with human stupidity, constitute the two most common examples of things that are infinite in this universe. Any number of living creatures can be stuffed in the back seat along with their luggage. There can be up to 4 people in the front seat as well, and anyone of them could be driving the vehicle, be it the one on the left, right, center or the one who is partially hanging outside.
Of course, I have to give due credit to the person who felt that these were not a big enough nuisance and came up with the concept of a larger Auto. These aren't really popular in the bigger towns, but are quite a pain in the habitats where they thrive. These monstrosities inherit all the annoying features of their smaller brethren, compound them exponentially and thus create the single largest reason to hate the roads. Lovingly called 'Gainda' (Rhino in Hindi), these vehicles are as large as a small car and are built to be strong enough to withstand a tank shell. Contact with them is anything but pleasant.
I think there is an unwritten law that forbids autos from having working tail lights, which is why there are either empty broken sockets or thick strips of metal covering bulb-less sockets which double up as improvised bumpers. This is a very strategic move as it ensures that people driving behind an auto need to be mentally and physically alert and need to be able to anticipate the movement of the auto in order to avoid crashing into one. Another way of keeping other motorists alert is that an auto has the implicit authority to pull over whenever and wherever it pleases, in case it feels that there is a potential fare. Of course, in case you are waiting for an auto, then you will never be considered potential fare. Also, for an auto, the fact that it has three wheels which enables it to use one as a pivot and make U-turns in a very small area is considered by the drivers as a license to turn as and when they desire, regardless of the direction of traffic on that road. Of course, the way these people drive should inspire kart racers and off roaders as they can outmaneuver anything and tend to push their vehicles to the limit. Of course, people don’t really appreciate their driving and sometimes come up with innovative abuses like “Bad Idiot” to address them when they cause any sort of inconvenience.
Unfortunately, no matter how much I hate these three wheeled monstrosities that cause anguish and trauma whenever I come across them, I can’t escape the fact that they will be around for a while and that I might have to use their services from time to time. A prospect I don’t really cherish. I imagine and hope that someday, the world will only have even wheeled vehicles, the roads will be a much more pleasant place and motorists will rejoice. There will be a drastic reduction of road rage and stress and people will probably start smiling more.. I have a strong suspicion that this just might make the world greener and solve the problem of Global Warming as well.
bane (beɪn)
—n
1. A person or thing that causes misery or distress
2. A cause of harm, ruin, or death
3. A fatal poison
4. A source of persistent annoyance or exasperation
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