The Idiots Guide for Identifying MBA Students Across Specialisations

Having entered the second year of MBA, most people in my batch have selected their specialisations according to their skills and interests. Looking at different people across different specialisations, there seems to be a thread that connects people from the same specialisation. Certain underlying characteristics in terms of attitudes and behaviour exist amongst each group which helps identify which person would be from which specialisation.

As far as I know, and this applies to my college, there are four major specialisations in an MBA programme. These are Marketing, Finance, Operations and Human Resources. I will try to describe the defining characteristics of students of each such stream. People having dual specialisations or General Management may have traits of more than one particular stream making them much harder to identify.

Lesson 1: Identifying a Marketing Student.

The following points distinguish Marketing Students from the rest of the pack.

1. Marketing People are generally loud. They don’t care if they have a relevant point, but they will make sure that their voice is heard. They tend to be the more outgoing and are an extroverted bunch of people who like mingling and building public relations.

2. For a Marketing student, an argument isn’t merely a difference of opinions but a challenge or hands on practical. After all, if they cannot sell their point of view to another student, how do they expect to sell products to the masses?

3. Marketers tend to be quite obnoxious and full of them self. They consider talking about themselves and glorifying their conquests a birthright which is as natural as breathing. It is not considered bragging but merely advertising.

4. Marketing students tend to be the laziest and lost bunch of people in a given gathering. They are fairly clueless about what is happening around them and can easily be caught off guard.

5. Marketers have a trait common to the Imperialists as they redefine the ‘White Man’s Burden’ into the ‘Marketer’s Burden’, wherein they feel it is their moral duty to educated and enlighten mere mortals with their seemingly priceless and often unnecessary ‘Global Gyaan’.

6. This sect lives on the principle of “Minimal effort for Maximum Glory” and vehemently defends any and all accusations made about lack of effort or understanding.

7. In the recessionary environment, every marketer believes that they can weather the storm as they can revolutionise the industry with their innovative and ground breaking ideas.

Lesson 2: Identifying Finance Students.

Finance students also come in a fairly unique package with some common traits, some of which are mentioned below.

1. Finance Students are normally a studious bunch who can often be found with their nose buried in books. They don’t necessarily shy away from thick volumes and are known to make extra efforts to earn additional qualifications.

2. The probability of a picking up a random student from the library and discovering that he is specialising in finance is greater than 60%. In case the student was studying, then the probability goes beyond 80%.

3. Finance students are not scared of numbers and are normally adept at handling large value. They may however be caught off guard in case they are asked to make calculations without the help of excel.

4. Finance students tend to travel in groups of sizable numbers. It is quite rare to encounter a finance major alone and unaccompanied by his peers. This trait is common to all groups, but is more evident among the financiers.

5. Finance students are a fairly soft spoken bunch and don’t often attract attention towards themselves. They are inherently introverted and don’t often preach to others.

6. Students of finance do not consider Marketing to be their cup of tea, however, they do try to give it a shot. They differ from Marketers in this aspect, who avoid subjects from Finance like the plague.

7. The recession has shattered the dreams and concepts of almost all financiers as this is the sector worst hit by the current crisis. This has led to an almost permanent somber expression on the faces of these students, as well as a shattering of faith in the system as they realise that the concepts being taught led to a financial collapse upon being implemented.

As our college is not too popular for Operations or Human Resource programmes, there are a scarce number of students specialising in these fields. Marketing and Finance constitute over 80% of the batch strength.

Lesson 3: Identifying Operations Students.

Operations students share traits with their brethren in Finance, however they may be distinguished by certain attributes.

1. Like their Finance counterparts, Operations student are very number oriented and base their beliefs squarely on proven theories and hypothesis. They consider calculators as an extension of their being and can feel disoriented without it.

2. Operations students don’t really stand out and are fairly easy to lose in a crowd. They are most likely to be found in formal clothes and use Finance students in order to blend in the background.

3. Carrying a pen in the shirt pocket is the hallmark of an Operations Major. It is fairly likely that there might be some scribbling paper tucked away in an easily accessible place as well.

4. Operations students believe in functionality above aesthetic sense and are unable to comprehend why a high performing product with superior functionality could lose out to an equally priced yet attractive looking product belonging to a better brand name. Hence Operations students can’t get their heads around marketing.

5. Although not a concrete rule, however, Students who choose Operations as a specialisation are predominantly male and are most likely engineers.

6. Operations students win by a landslide if one compares average per capita consumption of alcohol and tobacco across the different specialisations. This coincidentally is a matter of great pride for this sect.

7. Recession has bolstered the ranks of the Operations Personnel as some Finance students who feel at home with numbers, turned towards operations as shelter to protect them from the economic turmoil.

Lesson 4: Identifying a Human Resource specialist.

There is a dearth of Human Resource students in our college, which makes locating and identifying them a considerable task. However the following points should help:

1. Human Resource Majors are people persons and are known to mingle with others and be extremely social. This is a common trait between this sect and the Marketers.

2. With the belief that knowledge is essential in order to work better, Human Resource majors consider it imperative to know everything about other people and hence may seem to be nosy people.

3. Although this may be just a coincidence, however Human Resource attracts primarily female students.

4. Human Resource Students are a fairly accommodating bunch and will rarely be seen arguing with others. They are the peacemakers and will often try to diffuse a situation.

5. Human Resource students believe they have a thorough understanding of human beings and their behaviour and thus may appear to be condescending with an ‘I Told You So’ expression.

6. Students of this specialisation make great hosts and are very active in planning and managing events and parties.

7. Recession is a blessing in disguise for Human Resource students as it gives them a chance to polish their skills by analysing Students in various mental states ranging from anguish, hysteria, ecstasy to paranoia whenever the topic of placements comes up.

A practical example to understand the different specialisations:

In case one ever goes to a gathering like say an alumni meet and meets people from all the above mentioned specialisations, the following outcome is likely to take place.

1. The Marketer will ask the name of the company and its well known products, before vividly describing to you what he does.

2. The Finance person will ask you the turnover of the company along with any recent mergers or acquisitions that it might have been involved with.

3. The Operations Specialist will ask about the different certifications that the company may have, along with how it handles different processes.

4. The Human Resource Person will ask about the work culture and how the different employees are treated and rewarded.

ster·e·o·type (stěr'ē-ə-tīp', stîr'-)
n.

1. A conventional, formulaic, and oversimplified conception, opinion, or image.
2. One that is regarded as embodying or conforming to a set image or type.
3. Printing A metal printing plate cast from a matrix molded from a raised printing surface, such as type.

tr.v. ster·e·o·typed, ster·e·o·typ·ing, ster·e·o·types

1. To make a stereotype of.
2. To characterize by a stereotype.
3. To give a fixed, unvarying form to.
4. To print from a stereotype.