Curriculum Vitae

It is said that when in Rome, do as the Romans do. I guess, this analogy applies to MBA colleges as well. Somehow, the terminology used in an MBA course gets transferred to daily life and everyday activities. Terms like CV Building, CV Submission, CV Shortlisting, and PPO etc which became the norm during the placements for jobs or interviews came to be applicable to a very different process in life, a different kind of selection so to speak. I will try to explain the process and the terms involved in this post.

Note : It was planned to give examples to clarify and help people understand this process, but I decided against it in order to prevent offending people, and to save my skin as well.

1. PPT – PPT or Pre Placement Task is the first impression that a company (a girl) makes, based on which the interested candidate (a boy) decides whether or not he would want to submit his Curriculum Vitae. In case of an impressive PPT, the boy may directly initiate the CV building process or if there are doubts in his mind, he could go in for discussions, research or question answer sessions to help make his decisions.

2. CV Building – CV building is probably the most important stage in the entire process, which is the first step in which a boy approaches a girl. He begins interaction with the girl and slowly improves his reputation and closeness with the girl. The qualities that he wishes to inculcate ad display, along with the perception of himself that he wishes to portray to the female is created in this step. CV building is all about building a strong and lasting impression and is one of the most important steps in the selection process. Boys may tend to look for diversity and could look at more than one girl or avenue in order to keep his options open. This comes under the next step called CV Circulation.

3. CV Circulation – There is no guarantee that a boy may be shortlisted by the first girl that he applies to. Because of the skewed gender ratio, there is no disparity between the number of applicants and the girls who shall be handling the selection process. In order to ensure placement/selection, a candidate tries to apply to as many companies as he can, in which he feels he may be interested. Some candidates believe in a customised CV building process according the his perceived needs and requirements, while some feel that they have a tried and tested resume which should suffice for every girl. Some candidates however tend to remain very focussed on very specific females and may persist in their quest of getting placed.

4. CV Shortlisting – Shortlisting is perceived as a very random process and candidates are completely at the mercy of the companies to shortlist their CV and allow them to participate in the further stages of the placement process. Shortlisting depends on the needs and requirements of the girl and the level of effort put into the CV building process. Some candidates may have misinterpreted the requirements of the girl and their efforts may be misdirected towards a lost cause. Shortlisting does not mean selection or placement, it leads to a rigorous screening process, in which ever candidate needs to prove his mettle and prove to the company that he is perfect for the job description offered, and would be an asset to meet the goals of the company. After being shortlisted, a candidate needs to fight it out with other eligible candidates and may have to be involved in several rounds of courting and other stressful processes to test his reactions in different circumstances.

5. PPI – The Pre Placement Interview is the penultimate step in the selection process where all the candidates who cleared the shortlisting process are required to be involved in a final interview, based on which their fate with the company will be decided. A grand presentation may be required by the candidate in order to ensure a definite selection by the company. The questions like long term and short term goals, expectations from the company, compensation, work hours are all discussed by the candidate and the company. Any doubts in the mind of the candidate may be clarified during this stage of the process. This is one of the last stages interaction between the candidate and the company before an offer is made.

6. PPO – The Pre Placement Offer is the final stage in which the company, pleased with the candidate, offers him a chance to be recruited and hence begin a relationship with the company. Last minute negotiations are permitted at this stage, especially by the candidate to ensure that he gets a good offer from the company. The candidate has the right to accept or reject the offer at this stage. Reaching this stage indicates that the company is pleased with the candidate and has deemed him appropriate.

7. Acceptance/Rejection – This stage may be reached at any step during the placement process. Acceptance is normally preceded by the PPO but may sometimes occur at a quicker stage if the candidate seems to be a perfect and ideal choice. This step indicates that both the company and the candidate are happy with each other and are willing to accept the terms laid out ant begin a career. Rejection can take place at any step from either side. Companies reject candidates if they are dissatisfied or are able to find someone who is a better choice for the job. A candidate may reject the company in case he loses interest in it or he accepts a PPO from a different company and does wants to exhibit loyalty, or he may decide to apply to companies off campus in search for better prospects. This stage is the final step in any process and marks the end of a cycle for a particular candidate. In case a candidate needs to reapply, he might have to go through all the processes again.

The above mentioned process is not necessarily done at a particular time and is a constant and ongoing process. There is no regulatory authority as such, and it is up to the candidate as well as the company to create rules for the process. There is no single rule that is applicable to all cases. Some candidates have several offers in hand, while some companies don’t allow candidates to take part in any other process once they have confirmed their selection. Some companies may offer a corporate project or an internship before making a final offer to the candidate. Please contact me for any further queries about the process.

Note : Even girls may take part in the recruitment process and could go through all the steps in order to get placed. However, more often than not, boys are the candidates who have to go through the grueling process, which is why the post is written with them in mind.

Confessions of a Classroom Observer

My college attempted to improve class participation and encourage discussions this trimester because of which they implemented a U-shaped seating arrangement despite the lack of infrastructure for the same. This ensured that a person like me who enjoys observing the behaviour and antics of people, and one who is easily distracted can never get even a shred of work done in class. If I look up, I can see more than half the students of my class and what they are doing.

Sitting in a dull, dreary class where time comes to a crawl and a minute seems to comprise of 100 seconds rather than the usual 60, observing people ends up being the only activity that keeps me from drifting off into the land of dreams. This particular class, which I will prefer not to disclose in order to retain plausible deniability, has a unique sort of teacher. He is blessed with the unique ability to speak in a dull monotone for extended periods of time, which coupled with an expressionless face and a voice that could put a hyperactive, caffeinated hamster to sleep creates an environment conducive to sleep. He actually compels me to debate whether or not he is more interesting than watching grass grow.

The struggle to remain awake turns out to be a hard fought battle, in which I find myself on the losing side more often than not. At this point of time, observing people turns out to be the only method to delay the inevitable. My class comprises of 65 students and we normally have a decent turnout, probably due to a minimum attendance requirement of 80% attendance. I shall now proceed to classify people into different groups according to their behaviour, like I always do.

1. The Sleepers – The students who lost the battle against sleep and let the ever increasing weight of their eyelids overwhelm them. Sleep is the only reprise for them as the burden of boredom becomes too much for them to bear. They can be classified into ‘Subtle Sleepers’ who try to pretend to be awake or ‘Shameless Sleepers’ who just don’t care how they sleep. Sleep has completely dominated them.

2. The Strugglers – The students who are determined not to allow the evil power of dreams seduce them into relinquishing their guard. They know they want to sleep, but are desperate not too. They can be seen with drooping heads or catching a few winks intermittently. Their life seems to be moving in slow motion as all their actions seem a little delayed and lethargic.

3. The Communicators – The ones who believe that social interaction and communication with their peers is their one and only saviour. United, they may be able to face the onslaught and remain awake and alert. They communicate with their neighbours, or in extreme cases, across the classroom. Communication may be oral, written or through signs and gestures.

4. The Technocrats – The ones who believe that technology will rescue them from the doldrums. Cell Phones, Laptops, even MP3 players are their best friends in these situations. These devices may be used to communicate and send distress signals or to distract them from the dull reality that is prevalent.

5. The Attention Seekers/The Distracters – The individuals who need to be in the limelight in order to ensure that they still exist in the real world. They feel that the prevailing boredom may have dulled their existence and they need confirmation that they are still alive. They need to know that they haven’t slipped into some sort of grey parallel universe.

6. The Sages – The students who have the inhuman and unnatural ability to teleport their minds into different dimensions while ensuring that their physical bodies remain in the same spot. Some mortals refer to these individuals as sleeping with their eyes open, but the reality is a lot different. Fact is often stranger than Fiction. These individuals may be in a different city, different profession, could be doing anything in their heads while they just appear to remain sitting there.

7. The Contemplators – The individuals who are compelled to think and reflect about their life and existence during the periods of prolonged boredom. The immense amount of dullness that prevails forces them to wonder whether they landed up in the right place. They may think of the past, present or the future and make decisions ranging from what they wish to eat during the next break to what they want to do in life.

8. The Pretenders – The individuals who know absolutely nothing but want others to believe that they are seriously following whatever is happening. They could be sitting in a UN peace conference or watching a Formula 1 Race and remain absolutely oblivious to the proceedings but would still feel the innermost need to put forward their opinions and their 2 cents.

9. The Students – The ones who came to study. Who do not feel the boredom, just the insatiable thirst for knowledge and the desire to learn. Sleep is furthest from their mind and they are desperate to learn and absorb every single drop of wisdom that passes through the lips of the instructor. They are the ideal students for the instructor and are normally in short supply.

10. The Opportunists – The ones who take the dull periods to be opportunistic moments to get other pending tasks done. They don’t see a prolonged pause in the timeline, rather a window of opportunity to compensate for their earlier oversights and results of lethargy. They always have something to do in class and are always short of time.

11. The Ostriches - The believers that if they can't see the teacher, the teacher in turn would not be able to see them either. They avoid eye contact as far as humanly possible and keep shifting in their seats in order to keep themselves out of the line of sight of the teachers. They refuse to learn in class and are always in some activity or the other, but try to save their skins at all times.

12. The Observers – The ones who believe that amusing themselves by noting the antics of others is the best available alternative to counter the demons of sleep and boredom. They enjoy at the expense of others and often involve others in the process of observation. They are the ones who are most easily distracted and the ones who are least bothered with the proceedings. They always look for excuses to do things other than studying.

No student sticks to a single role and they normally switch roles between classes and subjects. The time of the day, subjects, company and level of interest apart from several other factors may decide the role which could change several times during a single lecture.

In case anyone was wondering what their dominant role is, please feel free to ask me.

The Dopi Effect

A strange phenomenon has been observed in Human Society which originated a few years ago and has been on the rise ever since. Normal human beings, especially teenagers and young adults are being converted into Dopi’s. Now, I would like to assure you that Dopi does not have any relation to drugs, but it will be a while before I actually reveal the true meaning of who Dopi’s are.

A few years ago, Apple released the iPod, which caused a revolution in a way, and created a rage among the young generation. I don’t know the exact figures but Hundreds of thousands probably bought the iPod. Initially when it was just launched, it was quite expensive and very few people could actually afford it. Then they came up with the Photo iPod, the Mini, the Nano, the Shuffle, and then finally the Video iPod, Classic and Touch.

The iPod craze started picking up, at least from where I could observe around two years ago and you could see people moving around with their white earphones stuck in their ears everywhere they went. This created a new species, so to speak, of iPod Dependent People or IDP’s as I used to call them, for whom iPods were an extension of their body, and formed an essential requisite for their existence. The strength of IDP’s continued to increase at an alarming rate and they became a frequent sight everywhere. The word Dopi soon came to replace IDP for several reasons. It had less syllables, was easier to pronounce and made more sense. Dopey is a term normally used to describe Drug Addicts while Dopi refers to iPod addicts, so it covers the addiction part really well. But the main reason why the name Dopi was chosen is because it is iPod spelt backwards.

How to Identify a Dopi??

It is actually very easy to identify Dopis, they are the people who can always seen roaming around with the typical white Apple earphones which you get with every iPod. They will always have the earphones plugged into their ears and it is assumed that if someone removes them, they will deflate and die just like letting air out of the valves in a giant balloon. An alternate possibility is that they might feel out of their elements and behave like a fish out of water.

Dopis are constantly mutating and the longer they remain in the plugged in state, they continue to lose their ability to interact with humans. They start making the devils sign and continuously bob their heads up and down. Eventually the volume starts increasing and they feel that despite using earphones it is their moral duty to ensure everyone within audible range gets to understand what song they are listening to. Interacting with a Dopi in his plugged in state is actually a very difficult task and can take its toll on the person who attempted this act. One has to raise his voice significantly to be heard and gets a very loud response as well.

One common trend that has been observed among Dopis is that the cheaper the iPod is, the higher is the probability that the owner will become a Dopi. As the iPod will be concealed during times of usage, an observer cannot possibly discern which model is being used, but over time it has been seen that Nano users are most likely to become Dopis compared to Video or Classic users. I am yet to come across a Touch owner, so I can’t comment on their kind yet. Also, owners from certain geographies are also more likely to become Dopis in a shorter while.

There are different types of Dopis which can be found in the world, or at least in my observations. The following are some of the classifications that can be safely made :

1. The Infantile Dopis– These are the ones who have just purchased an iPod and are just excited by their newest acquisition. They can get overexcited and cling on to it everywhere they go. Some might not be very excited and hence have a lower probability to become True Dopis in the future.

2. The Potential Dopis – These are the ones who have finally started getting addicted to their iPods and it is slowly but surely becoming an extension of their body. Amount of time spent plugged in determines how long it will take to cross this stage.

3. The Past The Point Of No Return Dopis – These are the hardcore addicts who just can’t live without their iPods. They will probably die if someone unplugs their earphones and find it very difficult to go through extended periods of times without being plugged. They avoid human interaction and are very happy listening to music at all possible moments.

4. The Wannabe Dopis – These people aren’t purist Dopis but they want to pass of as one. Normally, they are the ones that don’t have an iPod but some other mp3 player with white earphones and they try to pass it on as an iPod. Their antics and actions closely resemble The Past The Point of No Return Dopis but as they lack an essential requisite, they cannot really be considered true Dopis.

5. The Anti Dopi – These are iPod owners who consider the portable device as an accessory, rather than an essential requisite for life and use it only if they feel the need to do the same. Purist Anti Dopis may also go ahead and buy earphones and headphones which are not Apple and aren’t white, putting them in the bad books of The Past The Point of No Return Dopis.

Dopis may be a relatively new species that has come to traverse God’s Green Earth, however the unreal growth rate has been a cause of concern for humankind as it may eventually lead to an alternate evolutionary pattern. There is no present threat from these creatures, but it cannot be ascertained whether they will be an imminent root for chaos and anarchy. Observations of these species shall continue to know more about them, and to determine the state of alert for the rest of humankind to live in. Keep watching this space for the latest updates. In case you have any information regarding this species, please post them below as it may help in the research.

phe·nom·e·non [fi-nom-uh-non, -nuhn] 

–noun

1. A fact, occurrence, or circumstance observed or observable.

2. Something that is impressive or extraordinary.

3. A remarkable or exceptional person; prodigy; wonder.

4. Philosophy - an appearance or immediate object of awareness in experience.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

“A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words”, this is a very common saying but it never made much sense to me. However, not too long ago, I finally understood what the saying probably means, or at least my interpretation of the same.

I love photography. I waited for quite a while before I bought my first camera a couple of years ago because I wanted to make sure I buy a good one, not just one which is slim and looks nice. That is what I normally call a girls camera – slim and sleek with very few features. I finally purchased a semi professional camera, or what was mentioned as one in the prosumer segment, and have been on a clicking spree ever since. When I write this blog, I have over 22 GB of photographs on my computer and almost all of them have been taken by me. I never really liked taking videos, so I chose not to buy a video camera, which I could easily have. Somehow videos leave very little to the imagination, and for me it is a lot more fun to appreciate the beauty of a good picture because you get a long time to appreciate it and the minor details that may come with it.

I officially finished my Engineering around 5 months ago, but as our final semester involves project work, everyone had split up by the end of last year. At that time, when I would browse through the many snaps that I had, I finally realised what the above mentioned saying meant. Every picture tells a story, and it is up to the people who look at the picture to understand what the story is. Looking at a picture you are flooded with memories and can recall, vividly if I may add, the events that were taking place when the picture was taken, as well as the situation immediately preceding and succeeding what is shown. To the person who was not involved in the situation, it could be a normal scene with friends, but those who were actually there, who had experienced it, looking at a picture sends a spark to your brain cells and you are transported to the time and place where the event actually took place, and you relive the moment as an observer.

The pure, unadulterated emotions of agony, ecstasy, pain, pleasure, humiliation, malice, innocence, pride, fury, relief, desperation etc are all on display in a single frame and depending on what kind of mood is depicted, have the ability to bring a similar emotion on to your face. Watching these pictures with someone who was there as well, inevitably leads to a long discussion of that time and place, and then to a general conversation of the yesteryears and the differences between then and now. You can also see the transition and the passage of time through which a person has travelled. The different fads he may have been involved in and the different experiments that he carried out.

A single picture tells a fairly vivid story, but a montage of images of a single event ensures that you relive the event in its entirety without missing a single detail. Digital cameras and mobiles with cameras have provided a medium with near infinite storage capacity as well as ensured that you almost always have a camera with you. So, the number of pictures taken has increased hundredfold. This way almost every moment is caught which can be used for several purposes.

This brings me to another meaning of the phrase that I am discussing. You can have very long discussions on a single photograph provided that you are jobless enough. So I am assuming that it was a little exaggerated and it became a thousand words in order to depict the length of the discussion. Different people have different interpretations of photographs and so there are many variants of the same that come to the front. These variants ignite a chain of thoughts and you get several points of views and the actual meaning of the photograph might just end up being overshadowed by something else entirely. Looking at pictures with friends or family is an extremely time consuming and fun activity. Hearing the descriptions of images from someone who was present there is really entertaining, but sometimes pictures are quite self explanatory and you just look at it and understand everything that was probably happening despite no one actually explaining the details. What actually happened may be different from what you perceived though.

One more interpretation that I thought possible was perhaps the number of words that could be used to describe a picture or a scene. The adjectives that could be used in order to laud or loathe a picture. Every human being walking on this planet is a critic and has an opinion which is either original or influenced by someone else. So whenever they see a picture there are a few words that come to the fore and are sort of attached to the image. A thousand words may be quite farfetched but then again this is my opinion and understanding of the phrase.

I had once thought of putting the phrase into a test using its absolute literal meaning. I had intended to use a book which had been converted into a movie, provided the movie was loyal to the book and check if the phrase was actually true. I would assign say ten seconds as an image and then consider it to be a thousand words then try to equate whether the movie was actually equal to the number of words used in the book. Thankfully, I never went about doing this, but if I did, the movie would the ‘The Godfather’.

Just to give you an idea of just how many words constitute A Thousand Words, this sentence contains the thousandth word of the post and it should be a sort of an indicator of how many words they associate with an image. Of course writing a thousand words takes a lot more effort than saying them out loud.

Honestly speaking, I think a thousand words is quite exaggerated but then, everyone has a tendency to exaggerate, so it actually makes sense. Besides some pictures have very few words that you may want to attach to them but on the other hand, some images talk to you and have a long story attached to them. A picture may not be worth a thousand words, but it is definitely priceless and can spark off many conversations.

pic·ture [pik-cher] –noun
1. A visual representation of a person, object, or scene, as a painting, drawing, photograph, etc.
2. Any visible image, however produced
3. A mental image.
4. A particular image or reality as portrayed in an account or description; depiction; version.
5. A tableau, as in theatrical representation.
6. A person, thing, group, or scene regarded as resembling a work of pictorial art in beauty, fineness of appearance, etc.
7. A visible or concrete embodiment of some quality or condition.
8. A situation or set of circumstances.
9. The image on a computer monitor, the viewing screen of a television set, or a motion-picture screen.

Whats In A Smile??

The Smile, it is not the best medicine in the world, that credential belongs to Laughter, so I presume it comes in a close second.

A Smile is one of the most infectious entities that exists in this universe and is probably the most wonderful emotion that exist. It is by far the most complicated and varied gesture that can be performed as it can, if used properly, exhibit a vast range of emotions and can depict countless situations. I will try to mention a few smiles that can be seen in daily life and the circumstances behind them.

A smile is a versatile expression, with different intents in different conditions. It is not as innocent an expression as it is often perceived. It is a potent tool in the hands of a competent wielder. It can be used in differing circumstances to attain various results, which may or may not be desirable.

1. The Sadistic Smile - This is the smile that can be seen on ones face when he has gained some sort of sadistic pleasure by performing a cruel act on someone else. It can also be called as The Cruel Smile.

2. The Sarcastic Smile - The sarcastic smile is also known in some circles as the Mocking Smile. A smile which is normally accompanied by an act of sarcasm as the name implies. The smile is successful only if sarcasm is not detected by the recipient of the act. It becomes a mocking smile when sarcasm is detected and the implied insult or intent is understood by the recipient. It is effective either way, which makes it a favoured weapon of those adept in the art of sarcasm.

3. The Heart Melter - This is a special kind of a smile which is conditional in nature. Normally a characteristic of children, this is a smile used to get out of a problematic situation, as well as to get an object of desire. Some grownups are also able to pull this off and consequently get several tasks accomplished.

4. The Wicked Smile - A smile full of malice and cruelty. It differs from a sadistic smile as it may form on the face of a person when another person is suffering or going through a very unpleasant situation, which is probably not created by the person with this expression their face.

5. The Seductive Smile - An ace up the sleeve of those bestowed with the gift of knowing how to use it well. Used more effectively by the female species, it is often misleading and may have malicious intent behind it, to achieve sadistic pleasure. It is used to display interest, tempt or mislead the recipient.

6. The Embarrassed Smile - A frequently used gesture, which is the result of the person being caught in an awkward situation. It is used as a stall tactic to buy some time, while a strategy to escape from the situation is formulated.

7. The 'I Give Up' Smile - This is the smile which forms on the face of a person who has accepted defeat. The person has exhausted all means of rectifying the situation and is now at the mercy of the recipient. It is an attempt to soften the blow, but may also be perceived as a show of weakness.

8. The Defiant Smile - An expression of strength, a way to show that a person will stick to his stand. Used to show that a person is going to do what he does, despite any and all opposition. An act of courage by a person caught in a position when he is in a situation where all odds are against him. It may be a way to rally support.

9. The Winning Smile - The smile for all situations, this is one of the most useful type of smiles that a person may possess. It can be used to win friends, win an argument, make a good impression on the recipient, show confidence etc. A winning smile is versatile and can be used in adverse situations to turn the tide in your favour and blessed are those who can use it well.

10. The Fake Smile - Not one of the better forms of the facial gesture being discussed, but an essential one nevertheless. Fake smiles are necessary in several situations when you have to acknowledge someone, or reciprocate a smile. It is often used as a substitute for a greeting. They are also used to be cordial, or to fulfil social norms. It is also used while posing in the front of a camera. A special case of the fake smile is the polite smile which is normally accompanied by nods to feign interest in a conversation or a situation as well as to keep the person awake.

11. The ‘I Made a Mistake’ Smile - This can also be called the ‘I am dumb, forgive me’ type of smile.  As the name suggests, it is a smile that a person uses to accept the fact that he did something wrong, and is now ready to suffer the consequences. This smile is mostly used to indicate that a dumb act has been performed and that the punishment is awaited. It is an attempt to reduce the severity of the same.

12. The Tearful Smile - A desperate smile which is normally achieved by the desperate efforts of the recipient. The person exhibiting this facial expression is sometimes distraught and crying, when people around him try to seek an immediate solution to the situation, and cheer this person. The success of their efforts is depicted by the tearful smile, which shows that their efforts are bearing fruit.

13. The Genuine Smile - Probably the best facial expression that exists. It is the smile that originates from the heart and reaches the eyes. This can be seen when the person is genuinely happy, in a favourable situation, just met a friend etc. It is probably the most contagious expression that humans possess and sparks a chain reaction of smiles. In the fake world that we exist in, genuine smiles have become a rarity, which needs to be changed.

14. The Proud Smile - A smile expressed when someone has made an achievement which has pleased him immensely. It is often found on the faces of family members or friends, when someone close to them has made an achievement, which generates a sense of pride in them.

15. The Fearful Smile - This can also be called the ‘I am not afraid’ smile. This may not necessarily have a recipient and it is more often used by the person to convince himself/herself that they are not afraid, even if they are scared out of their wits in a particular situation. This can also be used to express solidarity with another scared person.

16. The Conspiratorial Smile - The smile expressed on the face of a person when he is conspiring against someone else and the imminent satisfaction or pleasure that the act will generate. It may be an individual plot or a conspiracy made in a group. This smile may eventually lead to a sadistic smile. A lower level of this smile is called The Mischievous Smile.

17. The 'I Told You So' Smile - This is amongst the most irritating smile for the recipient which is often displayed as an act of superiority. It comes out as very condescending and the recipient tries to avoid this as much as possible.

18. The Sympathetic Smile - This is a smile used to reassure the recipient that you understand what they are going through and you empathise or sympathise accordingly. It is used to reassure the recipient, or in certain cases be used to generate sympathy as well.

19.  The Out of Place Smile - This is a smile which is very inappropriate for a particular situation. It is expressed by someone who either misinterprets a situation or just chooses to blissfully ignorant of the same.

20. The Reminiscent Smile - An expression displayed by a person who is lost in thought and is thinking of a particular situation which made him happy and being reminded of the same brings a smile to his face. It is a genuine smile with no recipient.

There are probably many more smiles that are expressed in many different situations, but I can't really think of them right now. Do let me know if you can add to the list. I will try to update the list if I can think of some more as well.


Smile [smahyl] 
–verb
1. To assume a facial expression indicating pleasure, favor, or amusement, but sometimes derision or scorn, characterized by an upturning of the corners of the mouth.
2. To express by a smile.
–noun
3. The act or an instance of smiling; a smiling expression of the face.
4. A pleasant or agreeable appearance, look, or aspect.

AnThropocentricity

This entry has two purposes, one to explain the name of the blog, and the other to explain what goes into what I write. At this point of time, all this may seem quite irrelevant to most, but then it will be explained why I wrote this if you read along.

Anthropocentricity is the name of this blog, which you must have noticed. It is a fairly uncommon word, in fact I did not know that it was a word at all till a few moments before I named my blog. I came across this word when I was searching for an appropriate title for my blog, which had to certify certain criteria. Human Beings are the most self centred beings that exist in the universe. The existence of words like narcissism, ego, and the underlying philosophy behind it is a concrete example behind this fact. Anthropocentricity is actually a belief, which shows the height of self obsession. The mere fact that this term actually exists is a glorious indicator of the value humans assign to themselves and their kind. It regards Human beings as the central element of the universe and believes in interpreting reality exclusively in terms of human values and experience.

The reason why my blog is called Anthropocentricity is actually quite simple. I am a self obsessed human being and I love my name. My nickname has been Ant for a fairly long time, which is something which I actually chose and promote at every possible opportunity. Almost everything that I have to name has Ant in it, in some way or the other. For example, my iPod is called AnThropoda, my cell phone is AnTcelliary, my computer is AnT’s Arena and so on. I am sure that by now, you may have understood that it was necessary that my blog name should contain AnT in it. I also consider myself to be a very observant person, so something related to human behaviour was preferred. I tried for AnThropology but it was unavailable, that was when I ran into this term and the rest is evident.

Honestly speaking, and I know it is quite incredible, but, people have actually asked me why I write a blog, so I plan to address that question here. Also, I will write about the factors that influence what I write. The main reason why I write is basically because I enjoy it. It is also one of the best ways for me to blow off steam. I normally begin with an idea and then ponder over it for a while. If I feel that I have sufficient matter for a post, then I get down to writing it. I don’t normally expect people to read what I write, because of which I write on whatever topic that I feel like. Of course, if someone reads it, I appreciate it, and if the bother to leave a comment, then it’s even better.

The topic and my tone of writing are primarily influenced by my mood. I normally have several entries in the pipeline at any given point of time, but not all of them see a final draft. Sometimes I get bored while writing a post, because of which it is scrapped. Being a fairly lazy person, some of my entries, lose their charm because of excessive delays, and hence remain in the pipeline forever. My tone is a very important factor which guides my blog. And later, when I read my blog, I sometimes surprise myself by the tone in which an entry is written. Motivation for writing comes when I am absolutely bored and not in a mood to do anything else. Despite the fact that I like to read, I still consider it as work because of which I normally need some sort of inspiration to key in a post.

I have been criticised for long posts, but that is just the way I write, and although I appreciate the feedback, I don’t think this factor can actually be considered very seriously. My topics range from subtle criticism, humour, personal experiences and observations. I write what I have thought about or planned to write. It is a fairly eclectic selection of matters with no common pattern, at least I couldn’t find one. My topics and content try to reflect a part of myself, and basically my public side. I never really considered myself to be a person who will bother to write anything, but life is full of surprises. I wrote a daily log of my life for more than two years, which for some unknown reasons stopped, and the period in which I didn’t write was one of the most eventful phases of my life. Writing for an audience is really different from writing for yourself, which as one of my friends pointed out is actually very true.

Blogs are a really intriguing concept, and I have had the opportunity to read a number of blogs written by people who I know very well. The name of the blog, the topics, content, style of writing, are unique to the person who wrote them. I really enjoyed reading what others had written, and if I knew the person, then I could actually appreciate and understand the text much better.

I think I should end this now, as I had already tried to address some of these issues with my first post, and I should not drag this on unnecessarily. Enjoy reading, and remember, feedback is always welcome.


an·thro·po·cen·tric [an-thruh-poh-sen-trik] 
–adjective
1. Regarding the human being as the central fact of the universe.
2. Assuming human beings to be the final aim and end of the universe.
3. Viewing and interpreting everything in terms of human experience and values.

an·thro·po·cen·tric·i·ty [an-thruh-poh-sen-tris-i-tee]
–noun
1 The state or quality of being anthropocentric.
2. An anthropocentric interpretation of the universe.

Classroom Crusades 2 : The Tyrants Strike Back

This is a sequel to one of my previous posts which compared a classroom to a battlefield and assigned different ranks to different students as well as described various battle strategies. In case you’re interested in reading the same, please follow the link : http://anthropocentricity.blogspot.com/2008/03/classroom-crusades.html

Now that the rebellious faction that fights for the great cause has been described, it is now time to shed light on the Oppressive Tyrants against whom they fight.

For the uninitiated, the Tyrants are the faculty and administration of an educational institute. The tyrants have a tiered ranking structure as well and have different positions for different roles. They also have different battle plans to oppress, decimate and discourage the soldiers from open rebellion. The Oppressive Tyrants exist for the sole purpose of torturing the Soldiers of The Great Cause and feel threatened by the existence of these noble souls. They are forever vigilant and ready to perform unspeakable acts of cruelty to inhibit the Soldiers from gaining any sort of ground and digressing from their defined Propaganda.

The following are the different ranks of the Tyrants based on their capabilities and requirements.

1. Zombies – These are amongst the lowest ranks of the Tyrants, forming the majority of their strength. They are brainless creatures who just go through the regular motions with no care or concern about what is happening around them. They find their strengths in numbers and are found in large congregations on the Battlefield. They have the ability to ensure that everything around them rots and that the Soldiers of the Great Cause become brain dead after prolonged interaction. They gradually increase in strength over a period of time and have the ability to regenerate time and time again.

2. Banshees – Banshees are the deafening creatures whose howl is known to be a precursor to the death of the soldier of The Great Cause. The wail of the banshee is known to strike fear in the hearts of the soldiers and they can be found in significant numbers in the ranks of the tyrants. Banshees are known to announce their arrival to the battlefield with a loud, shrill wail. Banshees primarily exist to demoralise the soldiers so that stronger Tyrants may strike. The banshees ensure that all soldiers who hear their voice are tormented and fatigued. A special skill of the banshees is the ability to put Soldiers in a state of restless, prolonged slumber, making them extremely vulnerable and prone to direct assault.

3. Ghouls – They are the lowest ranks among the Oppressive Tyrants and lack direct combat skills. They are adept at indirect combat and negative tactics. They are normally the low level administrative staff that can create problems if they refuse to cooperate and help out. Ghouls do not possess a direct threat to the soldiers, but they have been capable of causing pandemonium in certain cases when used effectively.

4. Succubus/Incubus – These are a very dangerous sect of the tyrants, and are extremely deceptive in nature. They pretend to be sympathetic to The Great Cause and feign sympathy to the Soldiers, but at crucial moments drop the mask and wreak havoc. They are intelligence gatherers of the Tyrants and are masters of disguise, known to penetrate deep into the ranks of the Soldiers before the Warlords or Commandoes discover their identities. Succubae and Incubi are responsible for several failed initiatives and setbacks to The Great Cause. The special attack of these creatures is known to be able to put entire battalions into their most vulnerable and defenceless state, creating a ripe opportunity to attack. They can sometimes be mistaken for Guardian Angels, which will be explained next.

5. Guardian Angels – A very rare occurrence among the Oppressive Tyrants, they are true sympathisers of The Great Cause, who often work with spies to help dismantle the Oppressive Machine of the Tyrants. They act as the Initial Warning System of the Soldiers allowing them to get into Defensive Formations or launching a Pre-emptive Strike. They are also known to assist in freeing Prisoners of War. They are sources for disinformation amidst the Tyrants and have to constantly remain vigilant. Guardian Angels are known to be confused with Succubus/Incubus because of the known strikes by these creatures which have led to massive losses among the Soldiers.

6. Vampires – These are relentless creatures that are amongst the more feared of the Tyrants. As the name suggests, these creatures suck the life force of the soldiers. Any soldier that comes into direct conflict with Vampires is unlikely to survive as these creatures are known to be absolutely merciless and are not known to stop before their opponent is completely devoid of life. Vampires are extremely powerful but rare, they are mostly in their dormant state but may be awakened by certain events and wreak hell. It is unlikely that a Vampire will be pacified without an appropriate sacrifice. They are the ones that relentlessly ask questions and can sense what you don’t know and capitalise on that.

7. Death Knights – The most feared Warriors amongst The Oppressive Tyrants. The mere sight of this creature on the battlefield is enough to create panic and pandemonium amidst the ranks of the Soldiers. Catalysts of Doom, these soldiers rip through the revolutionaries and leave chaos in their wake. Very few Soldiers can actually survive the onslaught of the Death Knight. Capable of Mass Destruction, these warriors have access to the most advanced and dreaded fighting techniques which along with their strength makes them a formidable foe. They are normally the ones who formulate battle plans and demonic rituals along with the Liches to harass the Soldiers. They are the ones who are the stingiest with marks during exams.

8. Liches/Demons – They are the weaker but more intelligent warriors that occupy a similar stature as the Death Knights. What they lack in brute force, they compensate for it by dark rites and demonic strategies. The thinkers among the Oppressive Tyrants, they are aware of the weaknesses in the ranks of the revolutionaries and know exactly where and how to strike. Though small in numbers, they are very dangerous. They avoid direct conflict but are one of the most lethal foes of The Great Cause. They are the ones who set the examination papers along with The Death Knights.

9. Dread Lords – The King of the Hill, occupying the highest seat of power in the ranks of The Oppressive Tyrants. There are just one or two Dread Lords in any congregation of Tyrants and are the rule makers and supreme authority. They hold the fate of the entire battlefield in their hands and are capable of almost any inhumane act imaginable. They may be a threat to The Oppressive Tyrants as well during fits of rage because of which they are kept far away from direct conflict, except in extreme circumstances which lead to Cataclysmic outcomes. They are the heads of academic institutions.

The Oppressive Tyrants don’t really have, nor do they need much of a strategy. They have just one motive, which as the name suggests is to have a reign of chaos and terror to torture the Soldiers and Revolutionaries. Suppressing them and making their life hell, ensuring eternal suffering. Their abilities are as follows :

1. Nightmare – The ability of the tyrants to induce a restless slumber among the Soldiers. This is a very commonly adapted strategy and is an inherent ability found in almost every tier of the Tyrants. A special form of the ability is “The Song of the Siren” which is used by Banshees which can induce nightmares amongst mass numbers and render entire battalions defenceless. Nightmares are commonly adapted by Succubus/Incubus to create vulnerabilities after infiltrating the ranks of the Tyrants just before a full scale assault is initiated.

2. Dark Ritual – One of the most dreaded abilities of the tyrants. An innate characteristic of liches and death knights, the dark ritual is the event that takes place to strike at the heart of the tyrants, hitting them where it hurts the most. Dark rituals take place on a periodic basis giving soldiers time to prepare for the same, but preparations are often futile as the rite is often accompanied by thunderbolts. They are used for mass eradication of the soldiers. This is the act of setting the exam paper and then taking examinations.

3. Thunderbolt - A quick, sudden, unexpected strike which is often lethal. The strategy is a huge threat because of the element of surprise. Intensity of the strike normally depends on the evil intent behind it. This strike may have a single target or can be designed for splash damage. This is a tricky or unexpected question in class or in an exam. This is normally a morale breaking activity practiced frequently to prevent the soldiers from being aggressive and to ensure soldier attacks are at a minimum. For splash damage, it may also be used as a Surprise Test to affect every soldier on the battleground.

4. Firewall - One of the more dreaded, yet easily executable abilities of the tyrants in which revolutionaries are denied access to certain areas by an impregnable barrier erected solely for this purpose. Firewall prohibits soldiers from reaching the battlefield giving the tyrants a strategic edge. In laymen terms, it is what happens when the door is locked and the teacher does not allow you to enter the classroom.

5. Mark of Death - sometimes a revolutionary is singled out and considered a severe threat to the Tyrants and their Oppression Machine. These revolutionaries are then given the mark of death and find themselves on the receiving end of a series of relentless strikes till they break down completely. This is the situation when a teacher continually picks on a particular student at every possible opportunity, ensuring that he suffers perpetually and succumbs to their will.

6. Reanimate Dead/Necromancy – This is a powerful ability possessed exclusively the upper echelons of the Tyrants and is the reason behind the sustenance of their Regime. This ability is used to resurrect the fallen Tyrants when they succumb to the attacks of the soldiers of The Great Cause. The senior tyrants have the ability to restore the fallen to either their previous forms or in a newer role if necessary. Sometimes the tyrants reanimate their comrades just to strengthen a particular division of their ranks. This is what happens when students successfully break a teacher, and the other teachers express solidarity. Reanimation is often followed by intense onslaughts by the Tyrants.

7. Anathema – A severe curse or damnation consigned to a soldier or a battalion, which marks them for all the Tyrants, so that they remain more vigilant about their activities and ensure that these revolutionaries are on the receiving end of greater onslaughts. This seemingly simple looking ability can be used treacherously by alleviating the targets, attempting to have their comrades turn against them, thus defeating the targets as well sowing seeds of confusion amongst the soldiers of The Great Cause, resulting in huge setbacks. This is either targeting some students or a sudden change of heart towards a particular group of students, making others suspicious.

8. Impale – One of the most underhanded techniques which is capable of bringing even the strongest of the soldiers down to their knees. This ability is used to deny the Soldiers something that is rightfully theirs. This barbaric act is the display of power used by Tyrants to ensure that the Soldiers do not try to overreach themselves. This is often use to cripple morale and is considered one of the most heinous acts performed by the Tyrants. i.e Denial of attendance, or unfair correction of answer sheets.

9. Armageddon – The ultimate ability controlled by the Tyrants. Normally restricted to Dread Lords, this ability has dire consequences to the target, ensuring complete and total annihilation of his physical and mental being. An extremely potent technique, it is sparingly used and is reserved only for the worst case scenarios as it may have unwanted fallouts for the Tyrants as well. An ability to temporarily end all resistance and completely decimate the soldiers of The Great Cause, the knowledge of this ability ensures that the revolutionaries are in a perpetual state of terror. This is the ability to expel someone from the institution.

10. Plague/Pestilence – Signature ability of the ghouls. This is when these otherwise unimportant Tyrants use their skills to putrefy the battlefield, rendering it unfit for Soldiers, reducing morale and hindering smooth execution of battle plans to advance The Great Cause. A temporary ability, this can be used in conjunction with abilities like Nightmare for enhanced effectiveness. This is basically an administrative strike leading to non-cooperation of the institution. Unclean classrooms, too much of paperwork, lack of chairs etc.

11. Eternal Damnaation - This is an extremely cruel ritual, which is often practiced by the Tyrants in order to prolong the agony of the Brave Soldiers. It involves extra acts of cruelty, extending beyond their stipulated battle time. It is used to deter surprise attacks and decrement the amount of time available to forward The Great Cause. It basically means conducting extra classes and special lectures.

Note : Since the post describes an enemy (i.e. Teachers), all characters and abilities have been made evil. Some may be a little unusual, so please feel free to ask me if you cant understand the reference.

ty·rant[tahy-ruhnt]

–noun

1. a sovereign or other ruler who uses power oppressively or unjustly.
2. any person in a position of authority who exercises power oppressively or despotically.
3. a tyrannical or compulsory influence.
4. an absolute ruler, esp. one in ancient Greece or Sicily.

Chat Attack

I have been intending to write about Internet Communication through instant messaging, or simply put Internet Chat for quite a while, but was just too lazy to do so. Today, I am being deprived of the internet as the link is down in my hostel, so, I felt that I should write about it as I don’t have anything better to do. I am not going to write about how it works or how it has made communication easier, brought people closer etc etc... I am just going to write about my state of mind when it comes to Instant Messaging and my philosophy behind my status messages. It is probably a very irrelevant topic for most people, who actually have something to do in life, but the basic premise that defines people who bother to read my blog is that they (which is you) have nothing better to do in life at that point of time. This is a pathetic attempt on your part to bring some colour to your otherwise dull, dreary existence (Don’t get me wrong, your reading my blog is highly appreciated, leaving a comment will be even more appreciated).

I was exposed to the internet when I was 12 years old and at that time it didn’t really interest me too much, so I preferred playing games instead. I had very little idea about what chat was at that time so I hardly talked to anyone over the net for the first few years. Eventually when I got to know how the thing worked, I was hooked for a while, but it was a pretty short phase. Soon, many of my friends became net addicts and I could finally develop a friend list. Of course, we had a very slow connection at the time, so it was more convenient to talk to them over the phone, and it was much quicker and cheaper as well. Internet and especially Chat became an effective tool once I reached college and all my friends were segregated in different cities of our country. We were independent for the first time and making phone calls was fairly expensive, so this was a much cheaper alternative. Also, almost everyone in my college had internet access so talking to them became easier as well. SMS was free where I did my engineering but if the person was online in front of you, it was easier this way. There were plenty of sessions talking to friends in different hostels, or just abusing the other person for the fun of it. Often 2-3 people would notice one guy online and then release the floodgates with a barrage of curses and abuses, with a reciprocal response as well.

Chat really became effective during vacations to stay in touch with everyone. There is a particular cadre of friends who are good friends, but not good enough for you to actually call them up, these are the ones with whom Internet becomes the only method of communication (I am not sure how many people have different categories of friends. I know I have several distinct categories). Social networking sites have also helped a lot in this regard. Now I am in my third phase of life as I am doing my MBA and so I have three types of friends in my contact list. Friends from school, the ones from my engineering, and the ones who are my current batch mates. One very weird observation that I made was that despite having a much larger number of friends from Engineering in my contact list, I seem to notice more of my MBA friends in my chat list nowadays. During my engineering it was with my friends from college. This seems weird, to me at least, but this is what is happening somehow and I have not been able to come up with a reasonable explanation for the same.

I have some fairly clear cut principles when it comes to Instant Messaging. I always keep my status as busy, so that I have plausible deniability in case I do not reply to a person for any reason whatsoever. In the few rare occasions that I am actually “Available”, it normally means I am absolutely free and am encouraging people to talk to me. I have had complaints from people that I don’t initiate conversations, but I have a reason for that. I normally assume that people have something better to do in life than actually talk to me, so I mostly wait for them to start the dialog. I don’t want to intrude or feel unwanted which prohibits me from starting conversations. Besides, it may be coincidental, but you often notice someone online when you log in and they instantly go offline, sometimes I can’t help but wonder whether the person wishes to avoid me, so I avoid starting conversations as far as I can.

Status Messages are a fairly new concept. I know it has been around for a couple of years, but I never really gave it too much of a thought until recently when people started coming up with interesting and innovative messages. I have some principles which guide my status messages as well. I mostly use status messages written in Third Person, so that it seems that I have said that thing, or am saying that at that point of time. They may also be something absolutely irrelevant and idiotic, and at this point of time I would like to quote a couple of them. My favourite one is : “Sachai Jeetegi Jab Loha Chalega, Aandhi Ke Saath Darwaza Khulega” and one that I kept for a while is “ Tam Tamatar Tam, Tamatar Khayein Hum, Angrez Ka Bacha Kya Jaane, Angrezi Jaane Hum”. These are absolutely irrelevant messages which normally indicate that I am either irritated or in one of my hyperactive phases. Interaction at this time can be entertaining or perilous.

My third person messages normally indicate my willingness or lack of it to talk and contain subtle sarcasm which I feel people will understand. Not that most people do. For some people my status messages are irrelevant, for them I am always available, unless and until I am idle, which means that I am away from the computer at that point of time and will genuinely not be able to respond. Sometimes, though not often, I am actually busy and feel that the other person should not contact me, but my innovative messages bring about my downfall, which is a paradox. Of late my status message has made a futile attempt to promote my blog, so I am not sure how many people will actually read what I have written here.
Chat has been a lot of fun, and it is normally fun to analyse the status messages of others as well. Some people believe that their status message should reflect every event that is happening in their life, and when they are online, you know what they are undergoing at that point of time. I don’t subscribe to this school of thought and often mock such people. Others believe in having quotes or random messages, depending on their mood. Some people don’t like using this feature and just use the default “Available” or “Busy” messages. Some people have weird messages which often compel me to ask them what it means. It is of course a welcome feature, and adds a degree of personalisation and uniqueness to your profile and helps in understanding whether the other person is willing to interact or not.

I can’t end this without mentioning display names and images. I feel quite irritated by people who change their names according to the situation, sometimes it becomes difficult to know who the person actually is. During vacations there can be several people who have a name ‘back home’. Now understanding which is which becomes a fairly daunting task. Display images are another issue. I get really annoyed by people who use pictures of celebrities as their images, I fail to see the logic behind it. Random images of inanimate objects or patterns are still better in my opinion, but there is a probability of more than one person having the same image. Of course if you can put up your own picture, that definitely makes the most sense to me.

If you feel I have written something inappropriate or you want to discuss something, send me an IM, or leave a comment. We can Chat and sort it out.


expression [ik-spresh-uh n] 
–noun
1. The act of expressing or setting forth in words: the free expression of political opinions.
2. A particular word, phrase, or form of words: old-fashioned expressions.
3. The manner or form in which a thing is expressed in words; wording; phrasing: delicacy of expression.
4. The power of expressing in words: joy beyond expression.
5. Indication of feeling, spirit, character, etc., as on the face, in the voice, or in artistic execution: the lyric expression embodied in his poetry.
6. The quality or power of expressing an attitude, emotion, etc.:a face that lacks expression; to read with expression.
7. the act of expressing or representing, as by symbols.
8. Linguistics. the stylistic characteristics of an utterance (opposed to meaning).
9. Linguistics. the system of verbal utterances specific to a language (opposed to content).

Scenes From A Dance Floor

I felt that a few of my previous posts are complaints about certain issues. So, this post is an observation rather than a complaint.

A few days ago I made my first visit to an actual hardcore discotheque. Now I have been to many parties and discs in Manipal, but this was my first visit to a reputed one. I would like to clarify my position and credibility first. I am a non-smoking teetotaller (Which means I am never intoxicated, but whether or not I am in my senses is debatable), who is not the life of a party but more of a passive observer. I have been to my share of parties, and have handled more than my share of intoxicated people over the last four years and have been keenly making observations since. The behaviour and antics on display in these situations have been able to intrigue me and amuse me over the years. In this post, I will try to classify people and groups into different categories, and being obsessed with generalising my observations, will ensure that this applies to all people across the universe.

First, a brief description of the prevailing scene. It was a freshers party to welcome our new batch which was organised in one of the most happening discotheques in the city (or at least that’s what I was told). The place was really nice though, no complaints. Well made, good music, really good speakers, lights, fog all that is expected from a decent nightclub. Exorbitantly priced, to put it in perspective, a one litre bottle of mineral water cost 100 rupees and there was no provision for normal drinking water. Necessity really is the mother of all evil. The party went on till after 2:30 am and I stayed on till the very end in order to properly observe the nocturnal rites. The crowd was pretty much from our college with the majority being our batch, as expected. Unfortunately the place was absolutely packed, with around 700 people in a room that maybe had a capacity of around 400. So, during the peak time, it was difficult to move, leave alone dance on the floor. This didn’t necessarily prevent people from trying though.

As it was a freshers party, people didn’t actually know most of the others of the batch. Sure plenty of groups of friends had already been formed, either from a division, or from the hostels, and even groups of people who came from a particular city (Not taking any names). And during the first few weeks of college, and this is something that I write after previous observations, people are quite eager to expand their circle of friends, especially amongst the opposite gender.

For this particular party, the high price of alcohol ensured that people were quite sober and there were no mishaps. The regular binge went on with no particular drama. People initially waited for crowds to gather, and then one by one, groups descended on to the dance floor, and goaded each other to start. Then, dancing or the ritual that takes place when several members of the species gather in dimly lit environments followed by vigorous movements of the body ensued. Groups continued to gather strength, often accompanied by loud roars when a new member joined in and increased the intensity of the dance. Some participants chose their role as sideliners, taking up a position at the edge and continued to observe the activities, with some likeminded individuals, with some sort of intoxicating accessory in hand. Most of the times I play the role of an observer, equipped with a camera to photograph the activities for better documentation, but this time I decided against it and chose to be more of an active observer.

What I found interesting was not the merry making, but the different types of groups and their behaviours. In the remainder of the post I will classify different groups according to my observations.

1. The Oblivious Observers (O2) : This group is a variable size group and is not gender specific. It mainly comprises of a group of people who are at the sidelines and are oblivious to the events taking place at the venue. They are normally a group of friends who are content with their lives, and are just physically present there, adding to the headcount. They cannot be bothered by the festivities or the antics of the others. They could be anywhere and would probably exhibit similar behaviour.

2. The Self Absorbed Participants (SAP) : This group generally comprises of a healthy ratio of members of both sexes and is quite actively involved in the festivities. They are self sufficient and do not require any other involvement from any other member present at the venue. The group goes about with their activities the way they want to, and may not care about any of the others present. The rude often appears rude and inconsiderate as they may resort to hooliganism.

3. The Critics : These are the people who tend to comment and criticise on every single person and activity going on and consider them to be too superior to join the mere mortals in their merry making. They often feel that they have wasted a precious evening coming to the event, and would have been better off anywhere else. They may decide to change their stance and change their group type, or may just get too bored and leave.

4. The Black Sheep (TBS) : These are the people who feel that they do not belong and are desperate to blend in with the others. They are without their usual friends, and continuously try to fit in with any of the other groups. The amount of persistence depends varies for every individual, and there is normally a very high probability that a black sheep after several unsuccessful events may give up, go home or become a Critic.

5. The Jumpers : These are a set of people who have too many friends and groups that they can handle and divide their time in between groups. They are often found in transit from one group to another and may convince other members of a previous group to jump as well. Jumpers often get together to form a SAP group, although the life of this ad hoc group is often short lived.

6. The Infiltrators : This is a group which is not perfectly satisfied with its existence and feels the need to merge with another group in order to enhance their experience. It is different from TBS in the sense that, they already have friends and a group so they aren’t extremely desperate. Yet, they feel it is in their best interest to join forces. They party with the motto “The More, The Merrier”.

7. The Vulnerable : This group is quite similar to the Infiltrators, as in it is a group willing to merge with others provided they meet their requirements, but will not initiate a merger on its own. It will wait for individuals or groups to approach them and judging by their decision, accept or reject them into their circle. They are quite eager to have people join in but will not bother to make efforts to gather people.

8. The Closed User Group (CUG) : This is the exact opposite to the Vulnerable. This is a group that does not want any other member to join in and will ignore and discourage any attempts of infiltration. In case someone does manage to enter the group uninvited and unwanted, the group does not hesitate to initiate rejection tactics and get rid of the person en haste. This group is very close knit and believes in doing most tasks together.

9. The Two Is Company Group : This group comprises of couples who wish to remain hidden in plain sight. Who do not want anyone to bother them at any time. They are mostly found in the more secluded areas of the venue. There weren’t many such groups present during this particular party, but I am sure as time progresses, their number will steadily increase.

10. The Whirlpools : This group is similar to the vulnerables, but is quite aggressive, as in it tends to absorb other members and groups to its own if it feels that they may be an asset. The group encourages participation and is always on the lookout for new members. Once it finds a target, it uses several different means to merge them into their group.

11. The Missing In Action (MIA) : These are the members or groups that have been invited, but due to some reason fail to show up. Or if they do come, leave shortly after and their presence is missed.

12. The Stimulus Seekers (S2) : These are individuals who are waiting for certain events to take place before they can be activated and get in the party mode. The events may be the arrival of their group or just waiting to be coaxed. Once activated these individuals may go berserk and exhibit the wilder side of humans.

I have observed that over a period of time, people may become members of different groups and may acquire different roles. It is quite possible that most people have played one of the above roles and may even have played every single role mentioned, several of them in a single party as well.


dance[dans, dahns] 
–verb (used without object)
1. To move one's feet or body, or both, rhythmically in a pattern of steps, esp. to the accompaniment of music.
2. To leap, skip, etc.
3. To bob up and down.
–noun
4. A successive group of rhythmical steps or bodily motions, or both, usually executed to music.
5. The art of dancing: to study dance.
6. A social gathering or party for dancing.
7. A piece of music suited in rhythm or style to a particular form of dancing.
8. Animal Behavior. a stylized pattern of movements performed by an animal, as a bird in courtship display, or an insect, as a honeybee in indicating a source of nectar.

The Coveted Letter

This post should have been written around two months ago but due to my laziness, it has been delayed. But, I feel that it’s always better late than never so here it is. The coveted letter is the letter that I was supposed to receive from the company from where I did my final semester internship. It was a document stating that I had been involved with the company for 4 months and, that my performance was satisfactory. This wasn’t a big deal and it was a fairly small task to collect it, or so it seemed. For this post I will describe the events as they unfolded and at the same time put in some inputs that I had written when I was actually sitting and waiting for my letter to be handed over to me.

I had informed my superiors a few days in advance before I actually went to the company to collect my Internship Completion letter. I reached the company at around 10 am on a Monday and had expected to be back home for lunch with the letter, after having completed all the requisite formalities. Unfortunately, I was issued the letter at around 4 pm on Tuesday, which is actually food for thought as to why a simple, half page document should take so long.

When I met my superior on Monday morning to collect my letter, he told me to wait for a while as he would talk to HR and make sure everything was lined up for me when I went there. I got my reports signed after which I was asked to wait for a while so that the process could take place smoothly. It took a while for my seniors to issue a letter saying that I had worked in their department, and the process finally ended after Lunch on day 1. After that he talked to the HR department and told me to meet them after 5 minutes to finish off with the rest of the formalities.
When I met the HR people, I was asked to meet them after half an hour, which gave me some time to kill. After having a coffee and talking to some of my friends, I decided it was time to make my final goodbye and get the thing over with. I was handed a fairly long form and was asked to get no dues signed from different departments. Now, I was a “Non Stipendary Trainee”, which was drilled into my brain several times, and was not entitled to avail the functions of most of these departments so I felt it was quite redundant to go through this. I also learned that I was the last person to go through this process as it was being autmoated from the next day. Realising I had no other option, I decided to go through the motions and went to the various departments to get the document signed. Some departments posed no problems and things went smoothly. A couple of department personnel asked some weird questions. I was asked if I had a Visa on my passport due to company work, which was not something I expected to be asked as a trainee. The finance department didn’t even have a file with my record, and they were a little confused about why I was sent there.

Once this was over, I headed back to HR where I was asked to surrender my access card and sign in a couple of places. Now, my part was done and I just had to collect the letter. It was around 4 pm and the office continued to function till around 5:30, so I felt I could get things done on the same day with no serious hassles. While waiting for the letter to be printed, I was told that the computer which held the format for the same, was not functioning properly and that a complaint had been registered so it should be up and running soon. I waited for a while without my access card, which rendered me unable to open any doors within the company. While sitting outside, some thoughts crossed my mind which I had typed at that time :
“I honestly feel that every single process in this organization is inefficient, poorly managed and not well thought out. In a word it is unorganised. Since the day I joined as a trainee till the day I left, every single activity was pretty much a joke. I am honestly baffled by the amount of things that are poorly planned here and it is a wonder that this organization is able to survive in such a way. I am really relieved that I am not going to do an engineering related job in my life. I am quite sure I made the correct decision and whatever doubts I had have been washed away by this experience.”

I waited hoping to get the letter and when I went to enquire about the letter after half an hour I was told that the computer was not fixed and it was highly unlikely that it would be fixed that day. I was a little irritated but there wasn’t anything I could actually do so I asked them when I should come the next day to collect the same. I was told to meet them at around 10:30 and I was assured everything would be done by that time.

I reached the company at around 11 the next day, giving them half an hour extra and hoping against hope that I wouldn’t be made to wait that day. I was of course stopped at the gate because I no longer possessed my access card. So, it took a few minutes to go through the formalities and contact someone in HR to allow me to enter the organisation. Once that was done, I went in hoping to see some progress there and, as I had feared, the computer was still not fixed, and on seeing me there, they felt the need to get into action and lodge a complaint again. Resigned to fate, I had to wait outside wishing that things got over soon. There I had some more thoughts, which I wrote down :
“The irony of this situation is sickening. I think I finally figured out this expression. A computer engineer in an IT company is unable to get his work done because the computer is not working. The worst thing is that I really don't need the letter as I can manage without it and there shouldn’t be much of a hassle. Of course, I can't really tell HR this. I guess it will be the last thing that I will have to tell them before I leave today. There is no way I am returning tomorrow for this coveted letter.”

I made it a ritual to pester them every half an hour to ensure some progress was made so that I could leave the company as soon as I could. I realised at that time that in an IT company, the HR department rates quite low in the hierarchy for the IT department in case a problem arises. In the short time I had spent in the company as a trainee, whenever I needed something done on my machine, it would be done really quickly, and I felt I was at the bottom of the food chain.

I was told at a point of time that the computer was being fixed and I would soon get the letter. When I went to the department, I discovered that I was lied to and no progress had been made. It was very irritating and I decided to vent my frustration a little, after all, what was in the format that it was stored only in a single machine. I decided to give them a piece of my mind, as I had been a decent, understanding and accommodating person till then. I told them to just type a letter on another computer and print it out on their letterhead as it would serve my purpose. My college was not aware that there was a fixed format so it wouldn’t matter to me and it would serve a purpose so I had absolutely no problem with it. At this, they offered their apologies and told me that they had a protocol which they had to follow so I would have to wait for a little more time, and things should materialise after lunch. I had made some observations at this point of time which I typed on my phone :
“The more I learn about this organization, the happier I am that I won't be working in an IT company. I mean, basic common sense is definitely lacking. While waiting for the coveted letter, I observed a few unusual happenings which made me realise that simple operations are actually very well thought out. Sweeping the floor for example is done walking backwards so that your footprints are swept as well. Of course this didn't happen in this particular company. The floor was swept in such a way that once the task was over, there were only the sweepers’ footprints that remained.”

I think my outburst actually had some impact as I was told the computer was fixed, and this information arrived just before lunch. I was relieved as I was actually looking forward to see this format that had delayed this process. Once the document was retrieved, it was discovered that IT had failed to give access rights to other users, so they had to be pestered again, and privileges were granted, after which the document was edited and was finally ready to be printed. At this point of time everyone realised that the computer which had the recovered letter was not connected to the printer. I could not help but be amused at this point of time and it was then that I realised the difference between technical and non-technical people. There were several scenarios running through my head to rectify the situation but I was told to have lunch after which things would finally work out. I had some observations during lunch which I had noted down at that time :

“I really don't know if it is the ignorance of the HR department or the stupidity of the IT people but it really is quite dumb that I have been made to wait for around 8 hours for a simple certificate. I think it will be quite a momentous occasion when I finally get this coveted piece of paper. The text file containing the aforementioned document was a normal word file and I saw absolutely no way in which it could have been misused nor was there any good reason for it to be secured or locked or for a single copy to exist

After having a quick lunch, I had to wait for a while before I could actually get a printout once the computer worked, the file was accessible, and the printer was also connected to the computer. The letter was finally printed and I just had to get it signed. I took the letter to the signing authority and was told that it was not the correct letter as it was for a general trainee and not an academic trainee. So IT was summoned again to recover files from the computer that was not working, which they did, but failed to grant access rights, which forced me to wait once again. Eventually, the letter had to be typed and printed, twice, which was what I had suggested in the first place. I was relieved to have finally collected the letter and sever ties with the company once and for all, and while waiting for my cab, had some more thoughts which I had to share :

“It truly is fascinating to see the amount of chaos that prevails in the world but everyone is just too busy or preoccupied to notice it. Trust is a truly magnificent as well as important feeling that allows some semblance of order to prevail amidst this chaos. Blissful ignorance is not an excuse but a state of mind for which u can't always blame the guilty party. Ignorance cannot always be cured and u have to accept the fact that u will be ignorant about a lot of that happen in this world.”

These thoughts came to me for several reasons and practices that I had witnessed in the company. The worst thing was despite the fiasco, I wasn’t too upset with the HR department as I had made a good friend in the department during my internship and the others there seemed like nice people as well, especially the ones with whom I had interacted before this catastrophe. Of course, I will probably never have to visit this company again so it’s all history now and the coveted letter is now safely in my possession.

ab.surd [ab-surd, -zurd]

–adjective

1. utterly or obviously senseless, illogical, or untrue; contrary to all reason or common sense; laughably foolish or false.

–noun

2. the quality or condition of existing in a meaningless and irrational world.

Firewalled

A firewall is a device or set of devices configured to permit, deny, encrypt, or proxy all computer traffic between different security domains based upon a set of rules and other criteria. A firewall is normally used to protect a computer from unauthorised access from external sources as well as to prevent a program from communication over the net without the user’s permission. It is also used in corporations and educational institutions to restrict access to certain sites and features on the internet. No, this is not a technical post but I thought one should have a little idea about the topic at hand.

In the recent past, I have had to deal with a couple of firewalls which is the reason why I decided to write about it. My first run in with restricted internet happened when I was doing my internship in an IT company. The company was insanely paranoid about information security and had probably taken every possible measure to block out almost all possible websites. It took a while for me to grasp the gravity of the situation. I could understand social networking sites were blocked in order to prevent employees wasting time on them, but I was a little confused about why even email couldn’t be accessed and I was prohibited from using gmail and the like. With no real tasks assigned to me, I was finding it hard to pass time so I decided to read comics, and that was when I discovered that even these sites were blocked. I was a little intrigued and decided to dig a little bit and discovered, though unconfirmed, that every website that had .com in its URL was blocked, and some sites had been deliberately unblocked. Although it was taking information security to a paranoid level, I could still understand the need to an extent.

Now my current situation is a little different than what I underwent in the IT firm. I am in a post graduate college doing an MBA and the college felt that it was prudent to firewall our Wi-Fi connection to prevent hogging up of bandwidth by some students, because of which they restricted downloads and blocked out torrents and P2P file sharing software like Limewire. This wasn’t a very unusual move as it is done in most educational institutions which provide an internet connection to their students. However there were certain anomalies, although these more popular means of downloading were blocked, the college didn’t take the trouble to block out sites which offered direct downloading. This flaw in their system will definitely be exploited by the students as and when required.

This was quite acceptable though, because despite the inconvenience caused, blocking large downloads was expected for the greater good of all the students. The college had almost no restrictions when it came to surfing the net, and very little content was actually blocked. Orkut, one of the most popular social networking sites was blocked, probably because of the legal issues that it had been having recently. This was quite an irritant for most people but it was a minor setback which could be overcome with the use of proxies. But, and it’s a nice, loud, throaty but, other social networking sites had unhindered access. Some of the equally popular sites like Facebook could easily be accessed anywhere in the campus. Which made the act of blocking out Orkut, dumb, unnecessary and redundant.

The last straw though, was that many instant messaging software like Yahoo Messenger and MSN Messenger are also blocked by our institute. Gtalk though, works perfectly, and so do all web messengers. This only meant that the authorities just wanted to be difficult and annoying, exacting sadistic pleasure through needless acts of oppression.

I was a little confused by these hair brained schemes thought by the higher authorities and after a fair amount of contemplation, came to the conclusion that this is probably what Management is all about. If you feel you can’t implement a strategy perfectly, and foresee flaws and loopholes which will be exploited, then do something to convince yourself that you tried, and at the same time confuse your target audience. If you can’t beat them, confuse them.


fire wall

–noun

1. a partition made of fireproof material to prevent the spread of a fire from one part of a building or ship to another or to isolate an engine compartment, as on a plane, automobile, etc.
2. an integrated collection of security measures designed to prevent unauthorized electronic access to a networked computer system.